Friday, December 17, 2010

Pagsapit ng Hatinggabi

Mary Edeza De Leon

Disyembre 10, 2010


Sabay ng paglipat

Sa pahina ng kalendaryo,

Sabay ng pagalpas

Ng nakapiit na kahapon,

Hinarap ko ang bukas

At inalis ang pangambang hatid

Ng nakaambang ngayon.


Sa pagsapit ng madaling- araw,

Sapat nang babala

Ang paggising at pagtilaok

Ng naalimpungatang tandang

Upang tuluyang gisingin

Ang natutulog kong diwa


Nag hudyat ang umaga

Na sumiwang sa nakaawang na bintana

Inalis ang agiw sa mga mata,

Naginat upang alisin

Ang ngalay ng gabing nagdaang

Ramdam pa sa higaan.


Sumapit ang tanghali paglaon

Ramdam ang hapding hatid

Ng tirik na araw

Na dumidila sa balat

Na tigib sa init,

At di namalayang

Paparating na ang gabi

Sa pagsilip ng buwan

Na naghihintay ng kasagutan.


Sumapit na muli ang hatinggabi

Ang kahapong pilit kinalilimuta’y ngayon,

Ang bukas ay ngayon

At ang ngayon ay isa ng kahapon.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dust

Mary Edeza De Leon

November 6, 2010



The dust is playing

With the wind again

Catching my eyes

Begging for rain


It’s drought in the land

We fought with blood

And ploughed with sweat

But we couldn’t stop

The rain from leaving


The water we stacked in barrels

As we waited for this to happen

Are now half empty

Candles are melting slowly


And the dust is playing

With the wind again

Catching my eyes

Begging for rain

I hope they will win.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Autumn

Mary Edeza De Leon
October 11, 2010

Leaving now, living then
We knew somehow
this will come to an end.
With or without
we're no longer
enveloped with doubt
like a child anchored
into its mother's arm.

Time will come
that I might regret
letting you off the net.
All I know is that
I'll remember you to bits.
How you shy away
when I catch your eyes.
How irritated you were
whenever someone tries
to steal me away.
How every stare
sends me to an elevated state...

I might regret
letting you off the net
but I'll never forget
every touch, every kiss
how its all rooted
as if it was created,
carved and fitted
to my very soul.
Untouched.
Unified.
Whole.


Lupa

Mary Edeza De Leon
September 28, 2010

Kung ano ang itinanim
ay siya ring aanihin.
Ngunit anong aanihin
kung lupa'y di maaaring angkinin?
Upang tamnan ng butong
namumunga ng prutas
sa takdang panahon
at sa taglagas
masasaksihan ang paglago
at pagtubo ng bulaklak
na magiging bunga paglaon.

Mayroon akong binhi
na naghahanap ng mapagtataman
Ngunit lupa kang pagaari ng iba.
Hindi lang sa titulo
kundi maging sa mata
ng Diyos at tao
Kahit ihain mo ang sarili mo.

Walang punong tutubo
mamumunga at mabubuo
Pagkat lupa kang
kailanma'y di maaaring
tamnan at lagyan ng abono.
Kahit ihain mo pa ang sarili mo.

Kawal

Mary Edeza De Leon
September 28, 2010

Batid ko noong una pa
na natagpuan ko na
ang aking katapat.
'Sing lalim, 'sing babaw
umiilalim, umiibabaw.
Saklaw at silaw ng kahinaan
mo ako natagpuan.
Sa panahong hindi ako umaasa,
sa panahong di naghahanap.
Hinayaan kitang talunin
ako sa duwelo.
Pagkat batid ko ang kahinaan ko.
Walang lugar kang hindi inaresto
sa loob at labas ng kaluluwa ko.
Sumugod ka bagamat
kawal kang walang bitbit na armas,
kundi lakas ng loob,
nanunuot na titig
at nakapanghihinang halik.

Kilala na kita sa unang pagkikita
Dapat iwasan, iwanan sa ilang
pagkat ako ang mahihila
at maiiwang talunan.

Cold Feet

Mary Edeza De Leon
September 23, 2010

Anxious to move forward
afraid to take a step backward, stuck.
You held my sweaty hands
as tightly and gently as you can
Leaving an inch
that separates me to you
An inch that seems like a mile
when I closed my eyes
and whispered goodbye.

At the Mall

Mary Edeza De Leon
September 23, 2010

We sat at the corner
of the long-forgotten Mall.
Staring at the blue skies
as it reflects on the tile floor.

I showed you a book
I was reading and let you read
a poem that oddly
but perfectly describes
the moment we're in.

We laughed like we knew
what's going on each other's minds.
Then shook our heads
to take us back to the present time.

Nobody spoke but the intercom,
the woman bargaining for clothes,
the kid screaming as he tries to catch the ball
and the aircon blowing all our warmth off.

You tried to catch my eyes for the answer
as the lady whispers on the intercom
Chasing it for a glimpse of hope and redemption
as the kid impatiently chases his ball
I stared back as blank and as cold as I can
as the aircon blows off our warmth
Until I couldn't .

I said stop,
but my hand started to stroke you back
- my favorite part.


Awit

Mary Edeza De Leon
September 18, 2010


Sumasayaw ang alon
at nagbabanta ang luha
sa gilid ng iyong mga mata
na pilit mong tinitikom,
pinipinid at ikinakahon.

Pigil ang pagalpas
ng bawat ampiyas
ng mabining ambon
habang nakatanghod
sa araw na papalubog.

Hinuhuli ang daluyong
ng damdaming pumapaimbulong
pinaaawit ng sonetong
hindi para sa iyo
- at hindi magiging iyo.

Sabay sa indayog ng alimuom
ang pusong latay ng pasa at galos.
Pinapalaya sa musika ng pait
ang lahat mong lungkot at hinanakit.

Inaawit ang sonetong
hindi para sa iyo,
sonetong kailanma'y di magiging iyo.


Monday, August 23, 2010

....

Trail
Mary De Leon
August 23, 2010

I'm drawn into your gaze
as I drown in your embrace
that isn't existent.
Malleable as it is intangible.
Where would I get the courage?
To escape the abyss
of your presence
and succumb to the force
that is pulling me
out of this world,
where neither time nor law exists
no reason for me to resist.

My eyes crawl
on the softness of your skin,
as if it was my hand touching you.
Following the trail of your moles
like a map to the end
of my endless quest for amity,
tranquility and maybe, love.

Hoping with every bit of hope
that if I could find my way
through the maze of you
I'll find- Me.

...

Nocturnal

Mary De Leon

August 23, 2010

Here I am

Loving the night again

Wallowing in its infinite darkness

Never learning, always yearning.

It's where I find myself

Naked of truth,

Stripped of inhibitions

Immune of lies

Of which I didn't mind

And eager to be part of

The shadow-free night

Where I don't have to hide,

I need not to fright.

The touch of your

Callous hands is enough

To blow away all the worries

Brought by the day

And the truth that lies

Behind the locking of eyes

Tomorrow we'll hide and so on

Until the evening comes

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Archive

Mountain

Mary De Leon

21 March 2010


I’m your mountain, not your home

Your escape to this wild world

A diversion along the road

Every hike, every climb

Leads you to a pleasure

As high as the sky


You’ve explored every possible trail

Conquered the most difficult trek

With pride you never felt with anything else

You love every detail of me;

The fresh air you can’t have in the city,

The breath-taking scenery,

The trees that protects you from the sun,

The river that quench your thirst,

The fog that blinds you,

The rock that trips your feet

And even the dust that enters your eyes.


But the beauty you see

And the peace you feel

Isn't the reality

Because tomorrow you’ll come back

To your usual self,

Doing your usual chores,

Living your usual life- without me.

Though you can’t get enough of me

We knew, this is nothing but temporary.



Black hole

Mary De Leon

22/03/2010



Accelerate as you infiltrate

And devour my whole being.

Don’t hesitate, insinuate

To this convulsive feeling

You’re something, the one thing

I won’t regret.

You’re pulling me into something

I dare not control

I wouldn’t want to know.

And I don’t care if I’m not sure

What lies ahead

In the eternity of you and me.

The world falls apart

Right before our eyes

And the light that I see

In this tiny fissure

Of you and me

Makes me want to believe

There’s something in store for us.

And that in the eternity of you and me

We are free.



Stay

Mary De Leon

22/03/2010


I stopped loving you

Even before you started loving me.

I started loving you

When you stopped loving me.

We have been on this road

Of uncertainty before

And yet you stayed.

Why did you stay?

I left you even before

You thought of staying with me.

I stayed with you

When you started to leave me.

We’re on the same road again,

With the same look on our faces

Anger, sad and tired facet.

Then again you stayed.

Why did you stay?

For the first time you asked me back,

You stayed. Why did you stay?

I touched your face, looked intensely

On your tired eyes and gently

Tucked your hair behind your ears

I couldn't reply but I know

Why I stayed before I thought

I could stay.



Come

Mary De Leon

23032010

I’ve heard enough, no need to fret

No need to fight, we’re in this together

If you let me, will you let me?

What’s troubling you?

I want to know,

I want to mend every bit

Of pain that paralyzes you.

The empty bin of promises

Is waiting for you to make another one

No need to worry, no need to cry

We’ll fly away together

If you trust me, will you trust me?

Our love will cover and carry it all

Believe, just believe.

No matter what the world tells you,

I’m here, I will always be here.

And even if we don’t see

We’ll dive together

To the unseen, dark seafloor

If you’ll be with me

Will you be with me?



Scars

Mary De Leon

23/03/2010


Hibernation is what you seek

That’s why you’re hiding

For more than a week

I can’t recall what we did wrong

I don’t see why we need

A break from it all


Coz if you need to breathe

I’ll spare a breath for you

And if you need a little space

I’ll clear it all for you

You see there’s nothing

That I wouldn’t do


No need to hide now

No winter can come between us now

Tell me what can I do to keep you


I’m not gonna promise you the stars

But I can help you cover up the scars

We’ll forget it all. We’ll live long.


Timepiece

Mary De Leon

25/03/2010

Under time, a minute feels like

Forever in your arms

60 seconds of pure bliss and highs

I almost forgot who I was

You’ve reached the island of my soul

No one has come that close before

You made me lose all control

You’ve hit me right into the core

You said let’s make the most out of

Every millisecond that we have

You don’t ask, what you can’t give

We know this will end

Though I don’t see the end

Sometime soon, I’ll see you at noon.

We’ll make our own history

Exploration of love

In all of its ferocity

We won’t conform

To the pattern of this world

I’ll meet you somewhere, sometime.

Within a minute of your spare time


Anonymous

Mary De Leon

06/04/2010


Name me,

I no longer want to be

Anonymous

And yet to be discovered

Name it,

It doesn’t have to be scientific

Just be specific.

Name us.

I don’t care how

But please name us.

What are we if we’re not we?

A special kind of species

In this animal kingdom?

An exceptional type of fauna

Or an exotic flora?

Solve my dilemma

What are we if we're not we?

Tell me.


Reroute

Mary De Leon

06/04/2010


No more hesitation

I’m heading to a new direction

Away from the pull of your gravity

No more you and me.

No matter how hard

We try to fight the battle

We’re never gonna win.

We lost even before it begins.


Let bygones be gone.

No looking back

No turning back

I’m leaving the plateau

And if I’ll see you

So I’ll see you.


Hide and seek

Mary De Leon

08/04/2010


Shoe gazing,

Nobody’s moving

We kept on looking

For a blind spot

Amongst the curious eyes

That watches us

Not realizing

That you are my safe place

And I am yours

So why look elsewhere?

I am yours.



Ventilate

Mary De Leon

06/04/2010


I grasped for every air

I could fill my lungs with

I'll hold my breath

If only to keep you in

For a bit longer

And make you stay

I know it is prolonging

Both our agony

But I can’t let you go easily

Should I let this oxygen out?

If I do will it ever come back?

I never felt so happy

While suffocating

But I have to let you go slowly

So I can breathe easy.


Release

Mary De Leon

10/04/2010

I’m giving back what I haven’t taken

And taking back what I haven’t given

I’ll be content, don’t worry

I won’t ask for anything

I’ll walk away while I can,

I’ll look into your eyes no more

Coz I know it will again

Take me to a place

Where only you and I exist


I’ll let go of your hand now

I won’t say anything

I have let myself stray for too long

And we both know it’s wrong

It’s long overdue

So I’ll let you go now



Unite

Mary De Leon

10/04/2010


We’re awake when everyone is sleeping

Talking, laughing and whispering

To each other

That night I was captured

And my rational mind

Doesn’t seem to function

Beyond reason and condition

I welcomed you without question.

Trying to make every second longer

We’re gonna make it until quarter

Arms tangled as we try

To fight the coldness of the night

Our lips pressed by tender kisses.

I couldn’t deny how you infiltrate

Through me, I couldn’t fathom

What I’m feeling and what you made me.

I couldn’t sleep but I couldn’t care less

Fire

Mary De Leon

10/04/2010

I remember how it felt to be

Under your spell

How everything disappears

Whenever our eyes communicate

I never felt so care free

Knowing I’m underneath

A blanket of insecurity

Covering all uncertainty

I was frozen and I couldn’t think

I feel so strong yet I couldn’t resist.

You are my fire place

I can go near to,

Stay for as long as I want to,

Wrap you around me

Without the fear of getting burned

Now I can be the moth

And you be the fire

I won’t argue

It’s enough that I have you.


Replay

Mary De Leon

12/04/2010


In the deepest part of me, you rest

A memory I will never erase

Like everybody else

I will replay on a phonograph

Like a broken record

That skips and delays

Whenever I miss you

Or when something reminds me of you

You’ll remain as tangible and reachable

Like the first time I saw you

Though I couldn’t see you


Beautiful memories we created

None of it I will regret

A rerun of season

As I see you go on.


Drift

Mary De Leon

12/04/2010


Head first, as we dive into the cliff.

Free fall, while we succumb

To the current of the wind

Take me wherever you want

No need to ask twice

I’ll go with you


Keeping up with the changes

What will I do without you?

Stay for as long as you like.

You said I can do to you

Whatever I want

What’s not to like?


When everything is gone

You said you’ll always be there

We know not always

But it’s sweet of you to say


Hands free, I can’t imagine life

Without you holding me

Sugar free, you are the best alternative.



Distance

Mary De Leon

11/04/2010


Every inch away from you

Rips my heart apart

My every nerve wants

To be back on your arms.

I miss your warmth

Without having to touch

My skin yearns for you.

My eyes waiting to meet

Your intense gaze


I let you into my realm

Discover the empty rooms inside

I’ll let you fill it with desire

Let go of all inhibitions and doubt

Just one time and it will be enough

One more touch and I’ll be whole again

If you were here